the never ending quest for balance

Isn't it amazing how life can change so quickly from one moment to the next? Just a few months ago I was spending my weekends in the mountains, camping or racing or biking, really just playing and having fun. Now all I've been doing is working, and working, and working some more. The outdoors are what I see when I drive to work.

Part of me is liking the change - I haven't immersed myself in work for a few years, haven't had a project that I was so into that you forget everything else. But I'm also a little uneasy about the change - I vowed to myself that I would not repeat the same mistakes I made in my last job and I can see those lines blurring. And in the process the balance that I worked so hard for is getting out of whack.

I know this is just a temporary change - work will get back to normal in a month. But if there is one thing I know about me is that I work with extremes - it's either all or nothing. Good example - my health. I either eat right AND workout, or do neither. It's part of the issue with my weight and something I have to work on everyday. If there is one thing I am proud of the past couple of months it is that I have stuck with my workout schedule despite not eating very well. But it's a daily struggle.

I was thinking the other day how much I miss life when I wasn't working - being laid off was one of the best things to ever happen to me. The year following that was the most balanced and amazing year of my life - I did and tried things I never dreamed I could do and discovered that someone's work does not define them. However, learning to have that balance working full-time is a completely different animal.

I know this post makes me seem a bit lost, but that's not necessarily the case. Right now I am exactly where I am suppose to be - that is very clear to me. Yet life is never as easy as just 'following the rules', there are always the other factors that enter into the equation. And that's the part that I am struggling with - actually, that's the part I always struggle with.

A few months from now things will likely change again, that's just the way life is. The question is, will I be ready for it? Will I embrace it as I have most of the other changes in my life? And will I find balance with the change? I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Oh, but I'll always want to work at REI - that will NEVER CHANGE!

A long overdue update

I just realized it's been almost a month since I posted - yikes! No excuse really, just been working more and have suddenly become the social butterfly. My calendar has been packed with time with friends & family, AFA basketball games, work and working out... enough to keep me very busy!

My running is coming along very nicely - the initial 2 weeks were tough but I'm up to running 2 miles fairly easily and should be ready for the Pikes Peak Road Runners Winter Series in January. It starts with a 5k, two weeks later will be a 4 mile race, then 2 weeks later a 5 mile race and the final race will be a 10k. It's a pretty quick turn around for preparing but I have remembered something the past month... I love to run! Part of it is the way my head clears up when I run - I forget everything in my day and as a result it's a great stress release. But what I really love is how I can see improvement each day. I love to feel like I am accomplishing something, moving forward, and I definitely feel that way when I run. (I definitely don't feel that on my bike!)

As for those goals I set last month, I've been sticking to them pretty well. I'm back to a rhythm in my workouts, my eating is much better and my asthma, well... it's a work in progress. I FINALLY have insurance so i will be able to afford my meds and that will help tremendously. But in the process I am learning to concentrate on my breathing and figuring out ways to take deeper breaths while I run. Not easy, but good practice for future races.

So it seems that, after my initial funk, I have adjusted to my non-traveling/non-racing schedule pretty well. I have a pretty busy December-February due to work, then I get to look forward to a return to Adventure Race camp in April, and then it's back to racing again in May. I have already seen 4 races I want to run in Colorado, one in New Mexico, and of course a 24 hour race in California with some adventure race friends who live out there (my first 24 hour race! CAN'T WAIT!). It seems like it's so far away, yet I know it will creep up pretty quickly.

that's it for now - hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Dancin' on my Bike

I love my spinning class.

I'm just saying.

A Better Week

It's been a good week - I've stuck to my resolutions, for the most part, and feel a little more balanced. My goals this week? To keep it up - it's easy to stick to goals for a week, much harder to do it for a few months. We'll see how it goes.

After a good week, I was pretty happy to be looking forward to a fun and busy weekend. Friday night was a Halloween Dance, where I got to dress up and spend the night dancing and dancing and dancing some more - we had an absolute blast!

However, the highlight of the weekend was the Pumpkin Carving Party I attended on Saturday. This was my first time carving a pumpkin but most of those at the party were seasoned vets and had planned some pretty elaborate carvings! The host of the party is an old friend of mine who has won numerous national competitions - he really is one of the most talented and detailed person I know - the picture below is of his pumpkin that won nationals last year. The details are unbelieveable!



I chose a pattern of a haunted house that I had seen in a book - ironically, this was the exact same pattern that Doug had created to win the competition last year! If you look at the picture of his winning pumpkin, you will notice a haunted house on the upper right corner. That was my pattern - the picture below is my carving - I didn't do half as good of a job as him!



The real highlight of the night was a multi-media light show, featuring all of the pumpkins that were carved that night and music composed and performed by Doug as well (yeah, I said he was talented). Doug had built a huge stand to display all of the pumpkins. I'm not even going to try to describe it - below is a short clip from the show so you can see if for yourself (my pumpkin is on the top).





I didn't win the competition, my friend Glenn took the top prize with a thanksgiving theme (pic below). But I certainly had a great time, pumpkin seeds and all.




I'm already planning for next year - maybe an adventure race theme is in order?

An Inspired Idea

I found this blog a while back and just loved what this guy was doing. He has a somewhat similar story as me - he was out of shape and at a transitional place in his life, thus he decided to do something drastic to change things up. And so he did this...

"The 2008 resolution was this; Have at least one solo 24 hour adventure every month of the year."

He's done 24 hours on a bike, 24 hours on a mountain, and my favorite... 24 hours in a tree, and so on. AWESOME idea! Check out his blog for more on his adventures - 24 Hours of Kip

My mind is working overtime - what can I do for 24 hours??

A Major Funk

I knew this would probably happen.






My spring/summer was amazing - I attended my first adventure race camp and learned how to mountain bike, rappel and white water kayak; I raced 4 adventure races, from 4-12 hours long; I ran my first running race, a 5 miler in the Garden of the Gods; I attempted to climb 3 fourteeners (I AM going back to climb those next year); rode 100's of miles of mountain bike trails that, most of the time, scared me to death; I climbed numerous sand dunes and had sand in places I never imagined; I camped and climbed and trained and laughed and spent wonderful hours with amazing people who have enriched my life and become dear friends; and I've seen places and scenery that would make anyone stand in awe at this amazing world we live in.


So it makes sense that, after such an amazing 6 months, I would feel a little lethargic and out of whack. Life has slowed considerably - no more races for me to train for, no more quick weekend camping trips, and so on. And while part of me is welcoming the slower pace, I'm also having a hard time adjusting to the change. And because of that, my schedule and usual discipline is all out of whack.

One thing I have discovered about me (well, more the "new me") is that I love warm weather (I hated it when I was big). We went for a ride last weekend in 30 degree weather and during that ride I made the big realization that I'm going to miss the warmth of summer and the longer days that allowed me to hike, ride and just enjoy being outside late into the day. The thought of moving to California kept crossing my mind during the ride, especially when I couldn't feel my all too numb fingers and toes. Miserable!

All this to say that I have been in a major funk the past few weeks and I am having a hard time getting past it. Today though I finally had enough and decided that since this mood wasn't going anywhere on it's on, I was going to help it move on to it's next victim. And I have a plan that I am going to post here and hope that by doing so it will help me stick with it.

Starting Monday I am going to get back to my morning workout schedule. I've been sleeping in and saying I would workout in the evenings, but it never happens. I just prefer to do it in the mornings, so I plan on working out every morning 6 days a week. Monday and Wednesday will be spinning class; Tuesday, Thursday and Friday will be running; I'll do 2 days of weight training and take a yoga class somewhere in there; and that leaves one day to do whatever I want, most likely bike or snowshoe or rock climb or whatever else might catch my fancy or work with the weather.

Along those same lines, I'm going to work on getting my asthma under control. Running is the main culprit, even with my medicine I have a hard time breathing when I run. But I really miss running and once my insurance kicks in (DECEMBER!!) I'll be working with my Dr. to get it under better control. I think this will help me all around - part of my slowness is the fear of having an attack if I push too hard. Need to work on that.

I also need to get back to eating much better. I've been letting old habits creep back into my life and I can tell a difference in how I feel. So, I'm going to start to log what I eat every day and make sure I eat good foods each day. The big thing... CUT BACK ON SUGAR!! This is a big problem area for me and I really need to watch this more than anything else. I'm really striving to have more balance in my life and this area is a particularly difficult one to maintain.

So, there it is... my plan. Not exactly life shatteringly original but if it works then that's all that matters. Here's to 6 months of a 'regular schedule.'

Quote of the Month

"You man eating son of a … There was seven democrats in Hinsdale County and you ate 5 of them!"

Quote attributed to saloon keeper Larry Dolan after Alfred Packers first trial.

This quote was the highlight of the trip to Lake City last weekend - the infamous cannibal from the 1800's, Alfred Packer, is quite well known here in Colorado and when I read this quote on the placard near where his "meals" took place, I just had to share it. Seemed appropriate given the political climate!

Full Circle

I've spent the last week in Moab, providing support for a team (Chasing Manhole Covers) during the Adventure Xstream Expedition race. Despite sleep deprivation and crazy weather, it was a great time!

The team was lead by a friend I made at camp back in March, Tim (also known as my terrific kayaking partner and just all around great guy). Also on the team were 2 other racers that attended the camp, Wendy and Kent. I didn't really get to know them back in March so I wasn't too sure what to expect. What I found was that Wendy is one of those people that you immediately feel comfortable around and is a blast to be around and talk to! Kent is a riot - a quiet guy that had a contagious laugh that would make me want to laugh right with him. Rounding out the 4 was the lovely Melissa from England who, in the middle of the race, would ask me how I was doing. I would say encouragement is her middle name. (oh, and she always has a smile on her face... always!)

The race began noon on Thursday and went until noon Sunday. It was quite the experience to be support for an expedition race - while you don't suffer like the racers, you definitely experience the same lack of sleep that they tend to go through. I figure I got about 7 hours the entire 3 days, while the team only got about 3-4. The first 2 days I got no sleep at all (it was either too hot or too crazy!) and was feeling it the second night - it hit me right in the middle of a long drive to the transition in the La Sal Mountains (not good when you have a 500 foot cliff along the side of the road!).

Since most of you don't follow adventure racing, let me give a little lesson on what support entails. Most races will have transition spots where the support crew meets the team and provides them with a place to change, eat and stock up on water and food for the next leg of the race or at times to sleep. My job was to make sure the transitions went smoothly and everything they needed was there and ready for them. I drove Tim's truck and trailer, which contained all their gear and lots of other fun stuff.

Despite suffering through high temps in the canyons (where many struggled with heat exhaustion) and snow in the mountains, the team did terrific! They finished the entire course, a first for all of them. They all faced their own challenges during the race; sleepmonsters, stomach problems, sickness and a few falls. Yet they struggled through and made it as a team to the finish line. They all are amazing but the women have given me even more reason to work hard for next season - they are an amazing inspiration to me! There was talk of me doing a race with them, maybe my first 24 hour one. I have to admit that while it scares the hell out of me, I would trust them completely for my first longer race. I think some of my remaining fears and insecurities would be challenged in a big way!

So, what's next? Some down time. I have a leg injury that I need to let heal and then I'm going to concentrate on my running again, something that has been lacking lately. I might even hire a trainer to help me get ready for next year. I'm really looking forward to the break.

It's my Birthday...

and continuing with the tradition of the past 5 years, it has truly sucked. Nothing was as bad as last year when we were in Kansas to bury dad. Yeah, that one tops them as the absolute worst birthday ever. But today, well, was just no fun at all. Between my car breaking down (AGAIN!), a fall on my bike that has me downing some pretty good pain killers, deciding to shorten my trip to Moab (that totally sucks) and a whole bunch of other little things that are making this day not so pleasant.

Despite that there were some moments that made the day good. Mom calling me from Hawaii to sing me a happy birthday, my friend Kandel doing the same (with what she called her "not so good voice" - I thought it was great!), everyone at work being so supportive and doing little things to make my day special, and my friend Glenn who has saved me a bunch on money to fix my car.

And then there was this video that a friend sent me - it made me laugh out loud in the midst of everything and I thought I would share it with you. After watching this you'll understand why I want to work at REI - as I read on someone else's blog "is it bad that I think this is perfectly normal?"

A new me... again.

The past few weeks have been crazy - I won't bore you with all the details but I'll give you a bit of a recap of the mayhem:

1. Climbed Pikes Peak with a friend and her daughters. Actually, we attempted to climb Pikes Peak but got to the last 1/2 mile and ran into bad weather. We hitched a ride to the top with a very nice couple from Arizona then sat in the summit house for two hours while it rained, then sleeted, then snowed. Finally the weather cleared, we hitched a ride down to the halfway point of the trail, and hurried down the rest of the mountain, only to be rained on again. Despite that, it was a great girls day, we had a blast!

2. I also attempted to climb Handies, a 14er in the southern San Juan Mountains, with my Albuquerque friends Linda and Jerry. Everything conspired together to derail this climb, starting with getting lost; having to park 4 miles from the trailhead due to a bad road; the stomach flu hitting me just as we hit the trailhead; I had blisters the size of Maine and about as painful as they can get; and the final blow, I bottomed out my car on the road and ripped my oil pan. $400 later, I have decided that a jeep would be a much more appropriate vehicle for me. And I STILL haven't summited a 14er this year!

3. Spent the weekend after the Handies climb four-wheeling in that same area, which was convenient since my car needed to be picked up in the same area. It was a great weekend, perfect weather and absolutely gorgeous scenery. A great time!

4. Finally, I ran my last Adventure race of the season this past weekend, the 6 hour sprint outside of Kremmling, CO. I ran with my friend Glenn, who was a great partner and a blast to run with. We biked 15 miles, all uphill (at least it seemed that way!), trekked 7 miles, then kayaked down the Colorado river for a crazy 7 miles. We did really well, kept up with the middle of the pack until we ran into some bad luck - Glenn had 2 flats and a brake issue, so that put us behind just about everyone. The kayaking was the highlight, we had some great class 2+/3 rapids that had us hooting and hollering - an absolute blast! I feel pretty good about the race, I rode most of the biking section, even the technical parts. Now I've got some downtime and plan on doing some off-season training - I feel like I have been playing catch up this whole season, doing just enough training to get me by. Now that I have time, I plan to use it well.

And finally, I have, once again, made a change. Not exactly a big one but any women out there will understand how it can affect you. I got a new hair cut, one that is so completely different than anything I have had before. Being a gal who has always had curly hair, it's a little weird having straight hair - but i love it and I thought I would give you a chance to see it for yourself


DJ, you have done yourself proud... thanks for the new look!