“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain
If you've been reading my blog the last couple of months, you have probably noticed me hinting at some possible changes in my life. At the time I couldn't say anything because honestly, I really didn't know what or how they would happen.
As of Tuesday, those changes are much more concrete. I officially resigned from my job. My secure, full-time, have insurance, get-a-pay-check-every-week job. But here's the real kicker... I don't have a job waiting for me.
Sound insane? I'm sure some of you are reading this thinking that very thing. And that thought has crossed my mind as well. "What the hell am I doing?" has been another persistent thought. Or "you'll end up in bankruptcy court!" I have a running dialogue in my brain that has sorted out the very worse possible scenarios.
Yes, I have fears and doubts. Who wouldn't? But above all of that is an unbelievable peace and calm that proceeds any of those fears. This is not something I did lightly. I have had some amazing opportunities at my job; I rediscovered my love of writing and editing and met some amazing people. But I have always felt there was something else I should be doing, something else that I was SUPPOSE to be doing. Now I get to find out what exactly that is.
I already have many possibilities, some that are extremely exciting and fit with my love of the outdoors. Some that are more sensible and offer stability. Some that are just downright crazy and make me smile at what they could mean. Above all these possibilities is a feeling of freedom; a freedom to go where I want and do what I want and be what I want. I've always yearned for that, but never attained it. Now is my chance.
I guess you could say this is my mid-life crisis. But I don't think that's it. I've wanted to do something like this for a long time, just never had enough guts to follow through. I've learned enough in the past few years that if you don't take risks, you won't get anywhere. And this is a HUGE risk. I may not know where I'm going, but I'm excited to find out!