moab, here I come...

How do I describe the past month?

Exhausting? Hellish? Overwhelming? Draining? Devastating?

I think all of the above pretty much fits.

The thing is, I've never had 'this' happen before. There are always those bad weeks where maybe work was tough, or relationship issues, personal issues, and so on. But usually they don't happen all at once... at the same time... and in an extremely intense manner.

That was my month; you could almost call it my 'bermuda triangle' of months.

And in the midst of all of this, in the midst of the craziness and heartache and exhaustion, something pretty exciting happened.

I found out I'm getting a new hip.

I started noticing pain in my hip during my trip to Alaska in the fall of 2009. I thought it was from a bike accident earlier that year, but low and behold it wasn't. I have osteoarthritis, a condition that runs in my family. My mom has it, my aunt, my grandmother, etc. I had kind of hoped I would be the one generation it would skip but I wasn't that lucky.

And so here I am, getting ready to embark on another adventure, (June 7th to be exact!) one that I didn't plan for or really want. It means I can't run again, which I admit is very disappointing. But I will be able to hike and bike and climb and do all sorts of stuff that I can't do right now. And, I'll be able to get back to running adventure races!




Which brings me to Moab - I WILL be running a 12 hour adventure race next March in Moab. That's my goal - I plan on hitting the ground 'running' after surgery and I'm not going to look back.


And all that other crap? Someday I'll forget all about it. Until then, I'll just concentrate on my new adventure and hope all the other stuff will fade away or at the very least, get better.

sleep is for wimps...

I'm back from California. Well, at least partially. I think I left some of my brain cells back there and have felt in a fog since returning. Part of it is due to lack of sleep - I slept about 6 hours during the 4 day race. And while I loved every minute of the race, I am finding it hard to recoup quickly from the sleep deprivation. I have fallen asleep in our staff meeting, at my desk, while on the phone, and at a restaurant. I'm not the best of company, to say the least. You would think I was the one who ran the race, not support crew.


I may be a bit sleep deprived, but in some ways that has been a good thing. My brain is clearer and life seems much simpler. With this clarity has been a bit of a revelation. Am I ready to say what that is right now? No, not really. I need more time to think through it. I'm nervous and excited at the possibilities and hopeful for the first time in a long time.

And the race? Such a great experience! The team went from 4 to 2 racers when Wendy and Melissa dropped due to illness. So it was Kent and Tim as a team and me as support. This race was much more challenging for me than the last race in Moab - there was much more driving and driving on roads that were not made for a truck and trailer. We figured I drove over 500 miles during the 4 days of the race and I felt every little mile.

Tim and Kent had to race unranked since it was just the two of them. Despite that, they did a phenomenal job! They cleared 37 of the 40 checkpoints, which would have put them in 2nd place. I admit, I loved working with them. I've seen other teams crash under the pressure of no sleep and extreme physical exertion and treat their crew poorly, but these two were always kind and gracious, if not a little out of it at times :-) We all had those moments where the brain just wouldn't function the way we wanted.

The week ended with a quick jaunt into San Francisco and then it was back to Denver. I have a feeling it's going to take me a while to get back to normal. Despite that, I would do it again in a heart beat!

too much stuff...

I've spent the past 4 hours trying to stuff all my belongings into a gym bag and backpack. It was at the end of those 4 hours that I realized I hadn't packed any shoes. Does this give you any idea of how scatter brained I am right now? Too much to do, so little time.

If you didn't read my last post, I'll update you on why I'm packing. I am heading to California to provide support for a team in the 4 day Gold Rush Adventure Race. The race starts Thursday morning near Yosemite and ends Sunday afternoon. If you would like to track how my team is doing (their name is Almost Semi Pro), go to http://www.trackme360.com/goldrush/ beginning Thursday and you'll see each teams progress live. It should be a great week!

See you all next week!

sensoring myself...

I wrote a blog post last night (which would of been October 31). As you might have noticed, I don't have a post from October 31. Why? I deleted it. It was a good post... no, a great post. But this morning I reread it and realized that it was sharing more of my thoughts and insecurities than I was willing to reveal, at least at this time.

I've been in a reflective mood for a few weeks now and last night was a night that had me on reflection overload. I get like that at times; my mind works so fast that I can't keep up with it. And lately there has been a lot to keep my mind occupied. At some point I will most likely say more, but I'm just not ready at this time. That's for another day.

In other news... I'm heading out to California on Tuesday for the Gold Rush Adventure Race. I'll be providing support for the same team I provided support in Moab last year. I'm not sure why I'm excited about spending 4 days driving around the wilderness with little to no sleep, cold temps, rain and possibly snow, but I am! I get to share it with wonderful friends and when that happens, it can be nothing but good. I'm sure I'll have a post or two, plus lots of pictures, to share.

The good, the bad, and the... well, you know

I've spent the last 2 weeks sleeping. That's it, just sleeping. Why? Well, I competed in a little adventure race and since I ran about 10 miles, biked 30 and kayaked 10, I was a little tired.

Seriously, I am surprised at how long it has taken me to recover. I was a zombie the week after, but surprisingly not too sore. Which is a change from last year, when I was sore all over; this year, when i had trained less and was a few pounds heavier... not bad. Can someone please explain that to me?

So, how did the actual race go? As you might have guessed from the title, it was a mix of different emotions.

The Good:
1. Seeing/Meeting adventure racing friends: what I love most about AR are the people. I have never met such an amazing group of warm and encouraging people in my life. The team from Utah who were running their first race; the organizers of the race (who I just adore!); my friends the Gypsy Chix, who rock as an all-girl team; the young and fast Ryan who beat everyone but did it with a big smile on his face. Just a cool group of people.

2. Kayaking: My 1st goal was to be much faster in the kayaking section (I was SLOWW last year and so last place it was embarrassing). This year, I rented an amazing sea kayak (the section was all on lake) and whizzed by everyone!

3. Overall time: My 2nd goal was to have a better time than last year. Despite some penalties (I'll explain more in the "bad" section) I was 2 hours faster than last year. Not bad.

The Bad:
1. Penalties: I missed a lot of the checkpoints during the Bike-O (basically orienteering on a bike). It wasn't because I didn't know where they were, it was more about how I suck on the bike. I missed 3 of them, which had :30 minute penalties for each one missed.

2. Sick: I, once again, had problems with feeling sick through the entire race. I run low on potassium normally, but get me out there racing and it really affects me. I took lots of electrolyte pills, which helped some, but I still struggled. I don't know how to resolve this one.

3. Weather: I didn't get to do the final leg, the Mountain biking section, due to weather. You would think I would be happy about that, right? I wasn't. It kind of sucked and I got 2 more penalties due to missing those 2 checkpoints. *&$%# weather.

The Ugly:
1. My mountain biking skills... enough said.

Despite meeting my two goals of a faster overall time and kayaking time, I still was disappointed. I had emailed a friend and told him about the race and his observation was interesting:

What I found missing from your experience below is that last year you wrote about the beauty around you, which I took to be presence in the moment. Perhaps this year you took less time to "smell the proverbial roses"? And it became more of a foot race?


He said it all with that one comment. I seemed to have lost my perspective and kept thinking about how slow I was, how I couldn't keep up, etc. It made it a not-so-fun experience.

Despite that, I still enjoyed the weekend. The big finale was dinner at an old friends house, a friend I haven't seen since college. It was great to get caught up and see how her life has turned out (very happily!)

So, what am I going to do next? I think I'm going to spend time on my running. I have been so caught up in getting better on my bike that I haven't been running and honestly, I love to run. It just clears my head like nothing else. I might even try to run a 1/2 marathon in November... we'll see.

A Quick Hello...

This weekend has crept up on me quite unexpectedly. I'm getting ready for my first adventure race of the year on Saturday (a 12 hour/50-60 mile race) and I feel slightly unprepared. Compared to last year when I was in the best shape ever, this year not so much. I'm just hoping I don't collapse in the middle of the course. How embarrassing would that be?

Surprisingly, I feel more prepared to push it than I was last year. Last year was just a test to see if I could actually race for 12 hours - I was SLOW! This year I have the disadvantage of being sick the past few months, however I feel more mentally prepared to push myself. I'm gonna have to tap into that, because my body is definitely not as tough!

I should have pictures next week, so be on the lookout for an update on my crazy day

Full Circle

I've spent the last week in Moab, providing support for a team (Chasing Manhole Covers) during the Adventure Xstream Expedition race. Despite sleep deprivation and crazy weather, it was a great time!

The team was lead by a friend I made at camp back in March, Tim (also known as my terrific kayaking partner and just all around great guy). Also on the team were 2 other racers that attended the camp, Wendy and Kent. I didn't really get to know them back in March so I wasn't too sure what to expect. What I found was that Wendy is one of those people that you immediately feel comfortable around and is a blast to be around and talk to! Kent is a riot - a quiet guy that had a contagious laugh that would make me want to laugh right with him. Rounding out the 4 was the lovely Melissa from England who, in the middle of the race, would ask me how I was doing. I would say encouragement is her middle name. (oh, and she always has a smile on her face... always!)

The race began noon on Thursday and went until noon Sunday. It was quite the experience to be support for an expedition race - while you don't suffer like the racers, you definitely experience the same lack of sleep that they tend to go through. I figure I got about 7 hours the entire 3 days, while the team only got about 3-4. The first 2 days I got no sleep at all (it was either too hot or too crazy!) and was feeling it the second night - it hit me right in the middle of a long drive to the transition in the La Sal Mountains (not good when you have a 500 foot cliff along the side of the road!).

Since most of you don't follow adventure racing, let me give a little lesson on what support entails. Most races will have transition spots where the support crew meets the team and provides them with a place to change, eat and stock up on water and food for the next leg of the race or at times to sleep. My job was to make sure the transitions went smoothly and everything they needed was there and ready for them. I drove Tim's truck and trailer, which contained all their gear and lots of other fun stuff.

Despite suffering through high temps in the canyons (where many struggled with heat exhaustion) and snow in the mountains, the team did terrific! They finished the entire course, a first for all of them. They all faced their own challenges during the race; sleepmonsters, stomach problems, sickness and a few falls. Yet they struggled through and made it as a team to the finish line. They all are amazing but the women have given me even more reason to work hard for next season - they are an amazing inspiration to me! There was talk of me doing a race with them, maybe my first 24 hour one. I have to admit that while it scares the hell out of me, I would trust them completely for my first longer race. I think some of my remaining fears and insecurities would be challenged in a big way!

So, what's next? Some down time. I have a leg injury that I need to let heal and then I'm going to concentrate on my running again, something that has been lacking lately. I might even hire a trainer to help me get ready for next year. I'm really looking forward to the break.

A new me... again.

The past few weeks have been crazy - I won't bore you with all the details but I'll give you a bit of a recap of the mayhem:

1. Climbed Pikes Peak with a friend and her daughters. Actually, we attempted to climb Pikes Peak but got to the last 1/2 mile and ran into bad weather. We hitched a ride to the top with a very nice couple from Arizona then sat in the summit house for two hours while it rained, then sleeted, then snowed. Finally the weather cleared, we hitched a ride down to the halfway point of the trail, and hurried down the rest of the mountain, only to be rained on again. Despite that, it was a great girls day, we had a blast!

2. I also attempted to climb Handies, a 14er in the southern San Juan Mountains, with my Albuquerque friends Linda and Jerry. Everything conspired together to derail this climb, starting with getting lost; having to park 4 miles from the trailhead due to a bad road; the stomach flu hitting me just as we hit the trailhead; I had blisters the size of Maine and about as painful as they can get; and the final blow, I bottomed out my car on the road and ripped my oil pan. $400 later, I have decided that a jeep would be a much more appropriate vehicle for me. And I STILL haven't summited a 14er this year!

3. Spent the weekend after the Handies climb four-wheeling in that same area, which was convenient since my car needed to be picked up in the same area. It was a great weekend, perfect weather and absolutely gorgeous scenery. A great time!

4. Finally, I ran my last Adventure race of the season this past weekend, the 6 hour sprint outside of Kremmling, CO. I ran with my friend Glenn, who was a great partner and a blast to run with. We biked 15 miles, all uphill (at least it seemed that way!), trekked 7 miles, then kayaked down the Colorado river for a crazy 7 miles. We did really well, kept up with the middle of the pack until we ran into some bad luck - Glenn had 2 flats and a brake issue, so that put us behind just about everyone. The kayaking was the highlight, we had some great class 2+/3 rapids that had us hooting and hollering - an absolute blast! I feel pretty good about the race, I rode most of the biking section, even the technical parts. Now I've got some downtime and plan on doing some off-season training - I feel like I have been playing catch up this whole season, doing just enough training to get me by. Now that I have time, I plan to use it well.

And finally, I have, once again, made a change. Not exactly a big one but any women out there will understand how it can affect you. I got a new hair cut, one that is so completely different than anything I have had before. Being a gal who has always had curly hair, it's a little weird having straight hair - but i love it and I thought I would give you a chance to see it for yourself


DJ, you have done yourself proud... thanks for the new look!

She says it better than me

Everyone has their favorite blogs - one of mine is from a lady who is an amazing writer and can form words in such a way that you completely understand what she is trying to say. Today I read her latest posting and was amazed to find myself in all that she wrote:

"I spent most of my life completely convinced that I am absolutely unathletic, pathetic in my klutziness, a fragile, uncoordinated mess who is to be pitied for her inability to walk across a room without sustaining some kind of grievous bodily injury or expensive property damage. I am not all wrong; I am often clumsy, find it difficult to move all the parts of my body at once in particular ways, or to think about the parts of my body and how they ought to be moving and then actually try to move them."

"...There wasn't any particular incident that made me hate gym--I don't recall a particular humiliation that burns to this day. It was just a non-specific, blood-curdling fear of physical activity and hurting myself or making a fool of myself that kept me out of those shorts. I identified as a non-physical, non-athletic person to a pathological degree, and I think you can probably trace so many of my issues with my body directly from there."

It is sometimes hard for me to explain to others why it is so important and life changing for me to be racing in Adventure Races - for most people it's just something to do to keep in shape and stay busy. While those two reasons are important to me, they aren't the reason why I do it. And the post above begins to explain it much better than I ever could. I saw myself in that post, the me I use to be, yet is still very much a part of my life now.

Every day that I get out and run, or bike, or hike, etc, I put a little bit of my past non-athletic, overweight self behind me. I was that girl who was made fun of in gym class and after a while, I just gave up. I didn't want to be made fun of anymore. And I still struggle with that - I was absolutely terrified on the first day of Adventure race camp. My adult brain was saying "you'll be fine, no one will make fun of you." My all too present childhood brain said the exact opposite "run now!! You'll never make it and everyone will laugh!" I didn't listen to that childhood fear and found out that I CAN be athletic, that I can do things I never imagined and I won't be laughed at. I was accepted as "one of them" and that very thing was what made such a huge impact on me and has challenged me in ways I never imagined.

And now, every time I race or even contemplate racing, I know I have won another battle with myself and move a little closer to being the person I want to be.

And THAT is the reason why adventure racing is so important to me - it has, literally, changed my life. And for that I am eternally grateful.

12 Hours conquered, 24 next??

That's right, I can sit here before you and say "I finished a 12 hour adventure race!" From start to finish, I just kept thinking to myself "look at what I am doing!" I was continually amazed at what I was doing and the amazing scenery around me - it was a day I will never forget.

I finished at just over 11 hours - I really took my time so I was definitely one of the slow ones. The race started with a 1 mile run to the Dillon Marina, which I pretty much walked the entire way because of my sprained knee. I arrived at the Marina and saw that everyone else had already launched their kayaks for the paddling section - I was definitely at the back of the pack!

I spent the next 3 1/2 hours in an inflatable kayak (also known as a duckie) – this ended up being the hardest part of the race for me. For those of you who have never used a duckie, I would never wish that experience on you - ever! Just thinking about those 3 1/2 hours and I get tired! The things about Duckies are they are just about impossible to keep in a straight line - I spent the first hour weaving all over the place, doing lots of 360's and at one point seriously considered turning around to get a head start on the mountain biking section. Instead I looked around me and realized how amazing it was that I was even there and knew I had to do the entire 11 mile kayaking section.

So I worked a little harder and began to get the hang of it- I was doing fairly well and was heading to the last checkpoint when I ran into the leaders of the race - they had already reached all the checkpoints and were heading back to the marina. And this part is the reason I love adventure racing - each person waved and wished me luck, or encouraged me to keeping going, or admired the fact that I was going it alone in a duckie - it was a huge boost and helped me push myself even more. It's the reason why I am growing to love this sport more each day - the amazing support!

I got back to the marina and was told I was only about 30 minutes behind the last to finish. Cool, not too far behind! So I walked the mile back to the transition area, changed out of my wet clothes and got ready for the mountain biking section. Believe it or not (and most of you know this is my weakest part) I had a blast!

I took a fun path from the lake to Breckenridge for about 10 miles, which was a nice, gentle climb and good warm up for what was up next. At Breckenridge I had to head west, which meant that I would be climbing the big ole’ mountain in front of me - this is where my training paid off! I headed up the hill for a few miles of climbing to the first bike checkpoint (and only had to walk the bike 2 times at some pretty steep parts). From there I was suppose to ride up to the next checkpoint but it was all single track and by this time it was pouring rain, so I opted to skip the checkpoint. I just wasn’t comfortable with riding single track in the mud so I had a fun ride back down to the bike path and hauled ass back to the transition – I was flying and having a blast!

I got back to the transition exactly at 3pm, which was my goal and headed to the orienteering course. It was still pouring, so I had to get my rain gear out and headed out in the rain. The course was huge but it was the highlight for me – I told Sherry (the course planner and the one who has taught me everything about orienteering) afterward that she puts together the best courses – the checkpoints were in the best spots! I got to walk on the beach, do some fun climbing, walk through a marsh, and so much more. It was the highlight for me, despite the rain and being pretty tired. The race required that you get at least of the 15 checkpoints and that’s exactly what I did, 15. I was going to go for more, I had an hour left where I could of snagged a few more. But I was pretty tired, covered in mosquito bites and ready to get some warm food in me, so I decided to head back after I got my 15.

As I was running to the finish line I heard everyone yelling and cheering me on - the funny thing is all I could think was "where's all my gear?" Unknown to me my wonderful mother had loaded everything up in the car but at that moment all I could think was "someone stole my bike!" Amazing the things that come to your mind at that moment! Logic finally won out and I realized what I had just done - finished my first 12 hour adventure race. On top of that, I wasn’t the last one to finish - there were two other teams out there! I've got to admit I got a little teary eyed (I wrote this just for you Glenn - yes, I cried... again) but couldn't keep the huge smile off my face.

Besides finishing, there was a great sense of pride at finishing a race put on by the same company that gave me the tools to be able to handle this race - this was the same company that put on the camp I attended in March and since that time they have became more friends than just a "company." They were with me from the beginning and are some of my biggest supporters. I told Will after the race that I never had so much fun and thanked him for an amazing time - it really was a great experience!

I was pretty sore that night and despite wanting a warm meal, my stomach wasn't able to handle much of anything. Mom was pretty tired too, she had done lots of work as my support person and I think both of us were just ready to head to bed!

So, what did I learn from all this? Hmmm, good question. But here are a couple of things:

1. That my confidence, or lack of confidence in myself is my greatest weakness. Each time I race I have to face that lack of confidence head on and when I actually conquer it, I gain a little more. The reason why I admire Jari so much? It's because she believes that anything is possible and that I can do anything I put my mind to - I love her for that. Now if I could just believe it myself.
2. That laughing through the hard times makes them a lot easier.
   
3. That at times you need to stop, take a deep breathe and look at the beautiful world around you - it's amazing how it can give you a completely different perspective on life.
4. That duckies are a pain in the ass to paddle.

So, what's next? I have a crazy, one day, 100 mile bike ride (the White Rim trail) in Moab planned with Jari; a sprint (6 hour) race in Vail; an entire week of vacation in Moab where I will be riding, kayaking and canyoneering, as well as providing support for a team during a 3-4 day race at the end of the week. Somewhere in there I want to climb a couple of 14er's, just not sure when. Summer is going way too fast and I want to pack as much in as I possibly can!

The 12 Hour Adventure

This weekend is it - my very first 12 hour adventure race. My dreams have been filled with all sorts of images, mostly of me forgetting my map or bike or clothes (yikes!). I guess you could say I'm a little nervous.

Compared to my last race, I feel pretty prepared. I've been riding lots, with each ride at least +20 miles. I've followed the training schedule pretty well, so at least my conditioning is pretty good. Mentally I feel stronger, but I know that is my weak point. I keep echoing Jari's words "you're a bad ass!" just trying to convince myself that yes, I can do this. At this point, I am ready to get beyond the training and visualization and just get out there - at least the dreams will be gone!

To further complicate everything, I hurt my knee last weekend and have been dealing with some pretty good pain this week. It basically means I won't be running and going much slower (if that's even possible - I'm ALREADY slow!)

I have a few goals for the race.

1. To run MY race - I tend to get caught up in all the craziness around me, push it too hard at the beginning and end up exhausted way too soon. I want to go at my own pace and disregard others.
2. To finish in 12 hours - if this means I have to miss a few checkpoints, so be it. I just want to run a good race and make good decisions.
3. To pay more attention to my eating/drinking - I don't want to get sick again!
4. To get all the checkpoints on the orienteering course.

So, if you happen to be close to Summit County Saturday, drop on by the Frisco Nordic Center and you just might catch a glimpse of me hobbling along between transitions. I will eventually write up a report on my excursion, as long as my fingers are still functioning. Mom is coming and has already said she will take pics, so I even have an official photographer.

Let's just hope I am actually standing at the end of this day.

So I got this email...

I told Jari, my instructor from AR Camp, about my plan to do a 12 hour race July 26. Her response was perfect and just what I needed:

"You'll be fine. And by that I mean it will be the hardest thing you'll have ever done but the most rewarding. THere will be a few times when you are tired and it is really hard when you ask yourself why you are doing it and you just have to know that the answer to that is because you are a bad ass! Because you want it. And because when you get done you have achieved your goal. To finish. That should be your goal, to finish."

And now you know why I love this gal.

Think they would allow me to legally change my name to "Bad Ass?"

Primal Quest Montana!

The past few days I have been glued to my computer, watching with fascination the going ons way up in Montana. A little thing called Primal Quest is taking place right now and boy have I been fascinated with the whole thing!

Primal Quest is billed as one of the world's toughest ultra-endurance race on the planet - this year's race seems to be living up to that reputation by pushing athletes with 500+ miles of trekking, mountain biking, kayaking, river boarding and other fun stuff. On top of that, there is suppose to be about 100,000 feet of climbing - WOW! The race can take anywhere from 5 days for the elite teams to 10 days for the weekend warrior. And in the true tradition of Adventure racing, the biggest test is not so much the physical tasks but the lack of sleep, navigation and team work (or lack of it, for some).

Why am I so fascinated with Primal Quest, or even adventure racing for that matter? I'm not sure. There is something about it that intrigues me and I honestly can't put my finger on it. I have never been one to push myself that hard - I usually wimp out before I get to that point. So maybe I'm intrigued by the possibility of doing something I'm not familiar with. Isn't it always the opposite of us that we are attracted too?

Last week I was given the opportunity to actually be in Montana as support crew for the team Dancing Pandas. (pic to the left is them!) Due to my new job I couldn't go but oh, how I wanted to! I know I will probably never run a race like Primal Quest but that doesn't mean I can't be involved in some way and this seemed the perfect way to do that. I've already requested a place on their support team for next years race - I don't plan on missing out next year!

If you have a moment, check out the Primal Quest website - they have information on all the teams, a live tracking system of the racers and lots of other fun stuff. Team Nike, a Colorado team is, as usual, in 1st. They are just about the best adventure racing team out there and the reigning champions of Primal Quest - for the past 4 years! They are machines - Ian Adamson, one of my hero's and a legend in adventure racing circles, was the captain for years. Despite his retirement the team continues to dominate.

I have other friends racing that I've been keeping track of - primarily Brain Attack and New Mexico Blue and Green. Both of these teams are first time racers who only want to finish, which in this race is a rare thing. My hats off to them and Dancing Pandas, as well as all the other teams, for doing something most people can't even imagine. It is truly an amazing accomplishment.

Balance

After a good (and tough) weekend, I've been thinking about the fine line between challenging myself and knowing when to throw in the towel. Saturday I challenged myself at an Orienteering Meet; then Sunday I completely freaked during a mountain bike ride. The difference between the two? Orienteering is done with 2 feet solidly on the ground, while mountain biking involves the threat of my already bruised body being thrown to the ground. See why I might be willing to hike my bike rather than ride?

I write the above as a round about way to say I think I might not be cut out for mountain biking. Sunday's ride was a continuation of past rides - my fear getting in the way of any fun I might have. Granted the trail was more difficult than most I have been on and after the initial terrifying, single track ride (where I walked the entire time) I was able to enjoy a nice, simple ride with another friend. But I am tired of being "challenged" on rides that elicit panic attacks, not shouts of joy. When do I say "no more" without feeling like a quitter?

While I contemplate that question (and you are more than welcome to offer comments with advice, encouragement, or a "kick me in the ass" type of comment) I plan on riding the whole weekend. Ironic, isn't it? But, these rides are not exactly typical mountain biking - more like road biking and some simple, wide and hilly trails that lack any of the typical technical stuff usually associated with mountain biking. This whole thing puts into question all the adventure races I want to race - unfortunately most races do not have easy biking sections. Now, if I could just find a race without mountain biking, I would be extremely happy (unlikely but hey, I can wish can't I?)

I'm still planning on running my 12 hour/60 mile race in July - I figure if it gets too bad I can do the whole "hike my bike" thing. That's part of the reason i am doing it alone - I won't have the pressure of letting my teammate/s down with my fear of riding - I'll just be riding for me. That might be the best idea I've had yet.

I'm Back!!

My confidence took a pretty hard hit after the last adventure race and I was pretty sure I was doomed to live the rest of my life struggling with my workouts and any type of activity that requires, well, energy. It's been a couple of months of not feeling well and despite knowing that it was due to the sinus infection and my asthma, it still didn't sink in that that was the cause of my exhaustion. I'm funny that way - my moods tend to get in the way of reality.

I know all of you kept saying "give it time, you'll feel better." But I don't think I ever believed it because honestly, I didn't feel that bad. Yes, I was a little more tired than usual. But to me sick means wanting to crawl into bed for days and hoping that death comes soon. And that wasn't how I felt. This week, however, I realized how crappy I had been feeling when I suddenly began to feel much better. As the title above stated... I'm back!

It helps that my confidence was boosted by two big rides last week, one 20 miles and the other 30 miles. The 30 miler was flat for portions but also had some good hills for climbing - I felt so good by the end I could of kept going (except for my butt - oh my god, it was sore).

Then this week I was actually able to run 3 miles... all at one time! I'd lost a lot of my running last month and was barely doing 2 miles a couple of weeks ago, which was such a change from the regular 5 miles I had been running before. It was such a relief to know I could do it again!

I'm now working on building my confidence - I really think that was part of my problem at the last race. And I'm going to need it because I just signed up for a 60 mile/12 hour adventure race in Summit County on July 26! I decided to take the plunge, knowing that this race was more suited to me and my skills and finishing within the time frame is a very good possibility.

So, I'll be working hard the next 6 weeks - I've got some orienteering courses planned, as well as a day of kayaking at Lake Dillon, some long mountain bike rides and a mountain bike skills clinic. All stuff that sounds fun to me, which is the key ingredient.

I'm a Wimp

I've been going back and forth on how to report on my adventure race last weekend and I'm still not sure what to say. But I'm going to give it a shot.

It was a gorgeous day for the race, which was in Fenton Lake, NM - a beautiful, mountainous area about an hour west of Santa Fe. I raced with my brother, his first adventure race but an extremely strong biker with tons of experience. It turned out he was much stronger than me in all the disciplines - I completely bonked during the biking section and never fully recovered. I was mostly dehydrated, no matter how much I drank I could not get in enough water. Since the biking section was toward the beginning it made the rest of the race pretty tough for me - I was even having a hard time during the running/trekking portion, which was my strength. I was exhausted and frustrated and it made for a very long race.

Despite that we did finish and placed 4th in the co-ed division (out of 4 teams) - all the teams were pretty close together time wise but most got more checkpoints than me and Steve, so that knocked us down some spots. Steve was incredibly patient with me and my lack of energy and for that I am extremely grateful. But I was, and still am frustrated with how I performed. It really seems to be a pattern lately - I'm having difficulty doing just about anything physical. Not sure what is going on but I'm pretty discouraged by it.

Here are some more pics from the race

I spent the entire trip home trying to feel better. I kept downing electrolytes, which helped some. I couldn't eat much though - my stomach wasn't cooperating at all. It took me a another day before I felt somewhat normal and even then I was still struggling. I now fully understand what dehydration feels like and I don't want to experience it again.

I'm seriously rethinking whether I want to do more races. I started this whole thing to fulfill my dream of running one and I've done that. Part of me would love to get out there and keep running more races, building up to longer and harder ones. But to be honest I don't know if I'm cut out for it and not sure if I even enjoy it that much. I haven't been enjoying my workouts at all since I began training for the races and the whole purpose of them was to keep me motivated to continue to be active. If I'm not enjoying it, then why do it?

I know I'm discouraged and that's part of it. But I can usually snap out of it pretty quickly - instead I have been getting more discouraged as the week has continued. Maybe taking a break is what I need - I want to get out there and enjoy being outside, not feel like it's a burden. And right now, it's a burden.

And it continues...

So, that sinus infection that wouldn't let go? It's still trying to show who is boss (if you haven't guessed, it's in charge - not me). I'm better but not great and have spent the past 2 weeks sleeping like crazy. You know what that means? Extra sleep = less time (or energy) for working out. I ran yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks and felt every single step down to my bones. I can't believe I have lost that much of my conditioning in just 2 weeks - it kind of sucks. Especially since I have my 2nd adventure race this weekend - if you hear a story about an adventure racer who tragically lost her life from exhaustion at Fenton Lake, NM... assume it's me.

All kidding aside, I was feeling well enough to attend my orienteering training weekend this past weekend and so glad I did - it was a blast! What's orienteering, you ask?

What is Orienteering? (from the Rocky Mountain Orienteering Club Website)

"In orienteering, you use a map and compass to locate a series of checkpoints shown on a specialized topographic map. You choose the route, either on or off trail, that will help you find all the checkpoints and get to the finish line in the shortest amount of time. Each checkpoint, or "control," is a distinct mapped feature such as a trail junction, a boulder, a hilltop, etc. The controls are marked with orange-and-white flags.

Orienteering is often called "the thinking sport" because it requires map reading, problem solving, and quick decision-making skills in addition to athletic ability and general physical fitness."

Orienteering is a big part of Adventure Racing, thus the reason why I wanted to get some training. And I got LOTS of training this weekend!

Saturday was the all-day training day. We began with an intro to orienteering (maps, pacing, terminology, etc) and then set out to do a beginner course with small groups. We had about 12 in our group and got lots of hands-on experience for the hour we spent in the woods - the beginner course has controls that are primarily right on the trail and fairly easy to find. My team had a family with 6 kids who just loved the whole thing - they were so much fun to watch as they tried to figure out where the next control was, all of them running through the woods with carefree abandonment. Ah, to be a kid again.

I spent the rest of the day doing more courses - I moved up to the advanced beginner after lunch, then jumped up to the advanced course with a couple of ladies I met that morning. Great training for navigation and just a lot of fun! After all that I got everything set up at camp, then went for a bike ride until dinner. There were about 10 of us camping and we pooled all our food together to create quite the feast - chicken, meat kabobs, pinto beans, asparagas, pasta and other fun stuff was passed around and shared among the group. It rained most of the evening but we had a nice shelter to sit in and cook, so it wasn't so bad.

The best part of the evening - smores! I haven't had smores for a long time and they were just as good as I remember. Yum!

That evening I did a Night-O, which is the same courses just in the dark. If you want to learn how to use your compass, this is the way to do it. Since you can't see very far in front of you, you have to depend on the compass to tell you the right direction to the next control - it is a challenge! But I did really well, found most of the checkpoints until it got too rainy and I had to head back to camp. By then I was ready to crawl into my nice, warm sleeping bag - I was tired!

The next day was the actual meet and I decided to do the orange course, which is the intermediate course. All the controls are off trail and a little more difficult to find - I was determined to get all the controls and not get a penalty, which is exactly what I did! I got all nine stamped on my passport, although one of them proved to be a challenge when I paid more attention to another runner then my actual path. I followed him for a while before I realized that I was in the wrong place. I had to back track a couple of miles to get to the right area and lost some precious time. A good lesson for me (and one I have heard about from countless other, more experienced racers, but it never makes an impact until you actually do it yourself.)

I ended up placing 3rd, although my time was realllyyy slow (2 hours, 30 minutes). The 2nd place finisher did it in 1 hour, 48 minutes, much faster than me. My goal for next time will be to finish under 2 hours. I just need to practice the whole "running and reading a map at the same time" thing - when i ran, I didn't pay attention to my surroundings. So I didn't run much, just lots of fast hiking.

My next adventure race is this weekend and I feel pretty ready to do the navigation after this past weekend - we'll see how I do. We could win the whole thing due to my brilliant navigation choices or get hopelessly lost in the mountains of New Mexico.

Scary.

And fun!

Want to know a surefire way to flunk your finals?

...just spend the weekend before finals at an Adventure Race - that should do it. It certainly worked for me.

I spent a crazy weekend in beautiful Buena Vista, volunteering for the Adventure Xstream Adventure Race. Being the good student I am, I had brought my books, fully intending to study during some of the down time. If the title above is any indication, you can imagine how much time I spent studying.

I actually went up early Friday so I could get some mountain biking in before the race. Someone had told me about a great 'beginner' trail in Buena Vista, so I was planning on spending a few hours on this 'beginner' trail, which ended up being anything but a beginners trail!

The first mile of the trail was all single track, rocks and climbing - it scared the hell out of me. Being alone and the ultimate beginner, I felt completely out of my element. I ended up walking the entire first mile and finally came to a nice, simple road. From that point on it was fun - the road went about 3 miles before the trail started again and this is where the fun began!

The trail was all fairly simple single track - it followed an old railroad track and had some gorgeous views of the Collegiate Peaks and Buena Vista. I got over my disappointment from the beginning of the trail and actually had fun, which is what it is all about, isn't it?

I rode about 10 miles total, although I figure I walked about 2 miles of that. I have to admit I was frustrated and discouraged at parts - I just would like to be able to do more technical rides and it's frustrating that I can't seem to get to that point. Fear has a lot to do with it and I'm not too sure how to get beyond that. I guess that is something I have to work on.

That night I helped with the check in and registration for the race - I met some great people and got to see some people from camp. One of my all-time fav's was there, Jari from Team Salomon/Crested Butte and my mountain bike/ropes instructor from camp. She had a great present for me, some of her homemade granola (which is absolutely yummy!) plus the recipe. Her and the team were running the 24 hour race and did an Adventure Racing Q&A session before their race began at midnight.

Just as the 24 hour racers began their trek at midnight, a wet and cold snowstorm blew in. Yet none of the teams quit, they kept moving despite the crazy weather. Team Salomon/Crested Butte had some bad luck with their compass and ended up getting lost, and for what I think is the first time ever they ended up dropping out of the race. They were the expected winners so it was a big surprise to everyone.

Saturday morning was the beginning of the 6 and 12 hour races and I was there bright and early to direct traffic and parking. It was freezing and windy and miserable but I think the excitement of the race helped everyone bear it easier. My friends James and Chelsea, who I also climbed Elbert with (pic above), were there to run the 6 hour race (they placed 4th in their division, congrats guys!)

The racers took off for their race and I took off with Caroline to man one of the mountain biking checkpoints. Let me just tell you that I have a great admiration for anyone willing to do a 24 hour race - by the time they reached us they had already ran/climbed/trekked/mountain biked about 80 miles and they looked exhausted. But everyone kept pushing themselves to finish the rest of the course, which included about 20 miles more of mountain biking, a 400 foot travolean traverse and another orienteering course. Impressive!

We sat at the checkpoint for about 8 hours, keeping track of all racers and making sure they were ok and didn't need anything. The day had cleared up some by then but the wind was a brutal reminder of the storm that night. The racers came to our CP after 5 miles of what was suppose to be an "easy, downhill ride." Instead they fought into the wind, making it feel like they were climbing uphill the entire 5 miles. Just another aspect to adventure racing, the unexpected always seems to happen!


The day didn't finish until late into the night and in the end the top team for the 24 hour race was Boulder Performance Network, who finished at about 17 hours - an impressive performance despite the weather. Good job guys!

Here are some of the Pics if you want to see more.

I headed home that night, I needed to be back for mother's day. But the weekend was a blast and it makes me even more determined to try a longer race - anyone want to run a 12-hour race with me in July???

Oh, and I didn't flunk my final, although I did end up putting in a very long all-nighter, which I imagine will take me weeks to recover from. It's just not as easy as when I was 20!

Albuquerque is a cool place for an Adventure Race!

All those years ago, as I watched the Eco Challenge Adventure Race, I never imagined I would be running a race myself. Yet after last weekend I am able to say that I am one of those who has experienced one! It wasn't a 10 day, 700 mile race like the Eco Challenge (more like 11 miles and 4 hours); but for me it was just as big and important as any other race out there. It was a great experience and I'll say this right now... I'M HOOKED!!!

I headed down to Albuquerque early Saturday morning, and arrived around 1pm at Linda and Jerry's house, my team mates who live in Albuquerque. After a nice lunch (fresh spinach from their garden - what a treat!) we headed out to the area that the race was taking place to see what we might expect during the race. This ended up being a good thing, although I wasn't so sure while we were riding - let's just say that I had thoughts of throwing my mountain bike into the trash after the day was done. Yes, I know, irrational thoughts, but that's what can happen when you have hundreds of cactus pricklies stuck in your butt. (I'll get to that story in just a minute).

The area was mostly single track, which I have NEVER done before. Just imagine me, who is still learning to ride in a straight line, trying to stay on a narrow trail with rocks and trees as obstacles. I was actually doing fairly well for most of the trail, although there were spots I had to walk through. That was until I got to a very narrow, sandy portion of the trail. I lost control, fell and landed right on a cactus plant.

We spent the next 30 minutes pulling cactus out of me (I also spent it cursing all desert vegetation, mountain bikes, single track, and anything else I could think of that I was mad about). Once I was pretty well cleaned up, we got back on the trail but I was still a bit ticked and hesitant to get back on the bike. I was also trying to talk myself out of running the race the next day - if the trails were going to be like this I wanted no part of it!

I snapped out of my mood (as I usually do) and got back on the bike to finish the rest of the ride. Our time on that trail ended up being a good thing - the trail we actually had to race on was much easier than we expected and our experience the day before was VERY helpful during the race.

Before I tell you about the actual race, let me first give you all a brief description of what an Adventure Race is (since that is the most common question I get from everyone)

ADVENTURE RACING 101
Adventure racing is kind of like a triathlon but with different disciplines like navigation/orienteering, mountain biking, trail running, rock climbing and rappelling, kayaking and lots of other inventive stuff (I've heard of everything from riding a camel to inline skating to puzzle solving are involved - always interesting!)

The race is all about teamwork and navigation, not so much speed (although you are going fast the whole time!). At the beginning of the race you are given a topo map of the area and coordinates of where checkpoints will be - you map the checkpoints then figure out how to get to those places to get what they call a passport stamped. You are given points for each of these check points so it's pretty important to map it all correctly.

Once you figure out the checkpoints you have to figure out the best route to get to those places while doing the required discipline - for my race we had to start with trail running for the first 6 checkpoints and end with mountain biking for the final 5 checkpoints. We did a total of about 11 miles for this race, but many races can go for as long as 10 days and over 700 miles! I don't think I am quite ready for those races yet (but maybe someday).

Tutorial Finished... on to the race report!

We had 4 hours to finish the race and it included trail running/trekking and mountain biking. The race was mostly about navigation - there were 11 checkpoints for us to find and some were not that easy. A key problem we had was due to a lack of listening on our part - at the preliminary meeting they mentioned that all of the checkpoints were only 10 meters from the trail; what we failed to hear was "and dry creek beds." Every single one that we had a problem with was in a creek bed - we just kept thinking there is no way it would be that far from the trail. Lesson learned - always listen carefully at the pre-race meeting!

We finished that race in 3 hours and 50 minutes. That was our goal, to make it back before the cut off and we did! We actually went pretty fast but our problems finding a couple of the checkpoints killed our time. But we had fun and made our goal, so it was all good in the long run. And we weren't even last - there were two other teams that beat us back to the finish but they didn't find many of the checkpoints so we ended up being 9th out of 11 - pretty good!

What I loved the most was the amazing comraderie among racers and an honor code that you have to help another team if they are having any difficulties or are in trouble. Lots of teams will race together to pool resources and support each other, despite also competing with the other team. It's just a great sport and one that I am growing to love. I can't wait to do more races!


It's always amazing to me to be around people who don't know what my life use to be like and the weight that was such a burden to me. But what I have found in talking with other racers is that they have also overcome things in their lives to be there - I'm just one of the many who has come through some sort of crazy journey and somehow survived. Through the entire race I just kept thinking about that, how much has changed, how much I have changed and how amazing it was that I was able to do all the things in the race with no problem. I can't imagine going back to what my life was before - this life is just too much fun!

"This bike had better be worth it"

I'm giving my mom credit for the title today - those were her exact words as we traveled to Amarillo to pick up my mountain bike. We endured icy, snow packed roads for the majority of the trip and were relieved to finally reach my brothers house. So the big question would be... was it worth it?? You bet!!!

Despite a big height difference between me and my brother, the bike was a perfect fit. We spent some time putting on a new seat and peddles then headed out to test it out. Due to my later than expected arrival, we opted to stick close to home and hit some of the dirt roads around his house. We spent an hour tooling around, helping me get use to the gears (which are a little different than most bikes) and adjusting the seat a few times so it was at the perfect height. I also got a mini bike maintenance lesson on how to change a tube, how to lube the chain and a couple of little things like that. My brother is truly a saint and I am so blessed to have him - I do believe he is almost as excited as I am to start riding and I love him for that. THANKS STEVE!!!

I'm still not entirely comfortable on a bike - but the more I ride, the more comfortable I become. I plan on riding all week - to school, to work, etc... basically, a lot! "Become one with the bike" is the mantra this week.

I chatted with my team members about the race next weekend and we officially have a team name - "Wandering Soles" it is! Quite appropriate, I think. They live in Albuquerque and had the opportunity to do a mini trial race with the same group that is putting on the race next weekend, so they were regaling me with stories of the day. Their experience is going to help a lot because at this point, I feel a bit in the dark on what to expect. I suppose that is part of the excitement, the unknown of it all.

When I first said "I want to do an Adventure Race" I don't think I ever imagined what I was getting into and how it would affect me. The idea that I can do this, actually complete one of these races, is still beyond the scope of my imagination. Yet I catch myself planning for future, more ambitious races. Not only that, but I want to do well in them. I do believe that I am a bit more competitive and ambitious than I ever imagined, which is all pretty new to me - it's hard to shift the perception you have of yourself to something entirely different. But I suppose that is part of the journey, isn't it?